Let me first take a moment to clarify my definition of sexy. I am not throwing this word out there in some bawdy, hyper-sexual sense of the word and merely meaning to have sex appeal. To me being a sexy woman infers confidence, desirability and all things beautiful and feminine. To further my point, The World English Dictionary defines it as "interesting, exciting, and trendy." I want to be that kind of woman (and, of course, I want to be, as in the simplest definition of the word, sexually appealing to my hubby... you feel me on that one?!)
Sure in the process of becoming a mom, your belly expands beyond recognition, your bladder stops working like it used to (no one tells you before you embark on the journey called motherhood that 36 weeks pregnant combined with one strong, unexpected sneeze can be incredibly mortifying), and dignity, well, that just heads right out the window when the need to get the baby out combined with sheer pain overtakes your body (plus, hello, in trying to breastfeed, your boobs become a doctor/nurse/helpful-aunt free-for-all). As a mom, you deal with more poop and pee than you care to realize, you lovingly spoon feed spinach only to have it raspberried back in your face by that darling baby who just learned a new sound that he can make, and your primary fragrance is not "Euphoria" by Calvin Klein but rather "Spit Up" by Jed.
|Because don't you know, every woman looks and feels super sexy after labor and delivery... to that I say, HA!|
Being a mom is tough work. I can't help but wonder why Mike Rowe hasn't done that episode on "Dirty Jobs."
You are strong. You nurture. You love. You have have more curves than a winding mountain road, and they are appealing. You are the queen of your castle. You are deep and passionate. You are sexy.
Okay... so maybe after taking your recently potty trained daughter to the restaurant bathroom to try to go peepee only to discover she has in fact gone number 2 in her pants and it is now everywhere and you don't have a change of clothes or a single wet wipe and you have to somehow improvise with only toilet paper on a big mess and drag her out with only (and I mean only) her skirt on to avoid complete mortification (can you tell I have been here?!), you straight-up do not feel sexy.
You are sexy!
Maybe you need to do a little something for yourself to help you believe it. Maybe the budget is tight and maybe you sacrifice your wardrobe needs to doll-up your kids (I will be the first to say I WAY prefer shopping for my kids than myself. It's easy to get them looking good, me... well, that takes some work), but you still need to treat yourself. Splurge every now and again on the trendy, good-for-one-season-only top that makes you feel pretty and current. Invite a friend out for coffee and leave the husband home with the kids for an hour. Spend a little time blogging (that is my treat to myself... I love to write!). Do a craft project for yourself. Fill the bathtub, light a few candles, and lock the door for 5 minutes. Stop complaining about the state motherhood has left your body or how tired you are. Eat better, exercise more, and make SLEEP a priority. Treat yourself. Do what you need to do to feel a little sexier.
|I treated myself to some pink peek-a-boo highlights a year ago, and apparently my daughter was overcome by the same need to feel pretty since she covered her lips in my pink lipstick. Haha!|
I am a history nerd. Confession: I watch history documentaries for fun, and everytime I watch a movie or television show based on history, I fact-check every detail. I love the stories of Anne Boleyn and Cleopatra--two women who were not beautiful by their cultures' standards, but still managed to change the course of history by turning men's hearts. They were SEXY. Why were they sexy? Because they were confident. They were not the insecure teen girls at the dance constantly visiting the bathroom to double check their make up. They didn't obsess over their flaws. They confidently believed they were worthy of the men they obtained.
|Anne Boleyn... pretty sure if these women can be considered sexy; there's hope for me!|
Maybe you aren't inclined to rule Egypt or break Catholicism's grip on the English monarchy, but, I bet, (and this is me speaking for myself here) you want to manage your own house, raise up strong children to the best of your ability, keep your other half happy, and change some piece on your end of the world. You want to pour love into all you do. You want to accomplish your divine purpose on this planet, be the woman that you were made to be, and not allow yourself to be perpetually lost behind your children and husband. That is the heart of the matter, the reason I say this. You NEED to feel sexy.
And, at least according to my husband, there ain't nothing sexier than a woman who believes she's sexy.
So, Treat yourself and OWN IT girl! If you believe it, so will that spouse of yours. And if you happen to be hacking it as a single mom, all the more important because you don't have that significant other helping you believe it of yourself.
And as a brief aside, for all the married mommas, I firmly believe that sex is the glue that holds a marriage together. And let's face it, in the midst of adjusting to life with children, marriage can be difficult and sex can be become, well, rare. Sometimes sex isn't just for making babies and it isn't just for fun... it's the battleground upon which you fight for your marriage. Don't always use the excuse that you are tired, even though you truly may be... keep your man satisfied, keep yourselves on the same page, as Nike advertisements used to say: "Just do it." And so, for the sake of your marriage, as well as more frequent love-making, I say allow yourself to feel sexy. (And if that logic doesn't cause the husband to hand you $25 for a pedicure, I don't know what will! Haha!)
Buy the pretty top, take the bubble bath, get that pedicure, lose the couple pounds, eat the (1) piece of chocolate, enforce a one-hour nap time regardless of whether your kids nap so you can have a little peace and quiet, do what it takes to feel good about yourself. Please don't use this as justification to blow your budget, max your credit card, neglect your children or pick up unhealthy eating habits. That is not point. It can be simply working into your budget $20 a month of "Mom's Spend it on herself and only herself" money and not feeling bad about actually spending it on yourself.
As a reminder, this is merely my own pep talk to myself that I hope encourages some other moms. This may be full of the pronoun "you" but trust me my finger is pointed at myself as I say this. I need to feel sexy.
So, now I sign off with a "here's to US!"
Here's to us bold, courageous, strong, passionate, curvy, nurturing, beautiful, SEXY moms!